x_youknowthatgirl's Xanga

Friday, October 28, 2005

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 18:23:10 GMT

Want to know what it feels like to be in love?

In my words, this is it:

Looking into his eyes and feeling like I'm stronger than anybody and can do anything in the world, and at the same time weak to his gaze. Feeling a jump in my heart every time he touches me. Catching the smell of his shirt and knowing nothing will ever smell so sweet. When he puts his arms around me, I feel safer than I ever have before... I know that as long as he's there, nothing can hurt me. Every kiss gives him the opportunity to break my heart, yet the trust not to. Every kiss makes me want more... Every kiss makes me fall even deeper in love. Nothing is more gentle than his touch, his smile makes me feel warm. His voice is the sweetest sound I've ever heard. Nothing can make me smile more than any of the above. Just looking at him, knowing he's mine, knowing that he loves me... nothing could feel better. His lips are the sweetest things I've ever tasted.

That is what love feels like.

I'm in love... Deeply in love. He makes me feel things I never thought I could feel. He's perfect for me, and I never want this to end.

Tyler, I love you. You're my world, my universe. You mean everything to me. You're my dream come true.

9.5.05 <3

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 20:30:02 GMT

I find it funny how some people can have high confidence and then with one snide remark it can all go to the pisser. Why do people have to be so cruel sometimes? It may not be the meanest thing to say, but it can hurt someone. People need to think before they speak. "Hey, looks like someone's gaining some weight."

Is it just a friendly remark, or is the translation, "Hey, Fatty. Better lose some weight, your stomache is bulging over your tight ass pants"? Whatever it is... It means diet. One person can change so much about someone with so few words, it's almost frightening.

Be careful of what you say because you never know who it may offend or hurt. Simple remarks can leave deep impacts that you never thought would hurt. Whether it's true or not, be cautious of what you say around certain people.

Even if you're mad, be careful. If you're mad enough to say cruel things then you know that you care. If you care then you shouldn't be saying mean things at all. It's a double-edged sword, but learn to be the bigger person in any situation. Hurting a certain person may be the goal, but you could wind up hurting someone else even more. Is it fair? Of course not. But... it's life.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 02:22:50 GMT

9.5.05 <3

Not all things in life come expected.

Not all things in life come unexpected.

Just have to play it by ear and see what happens. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. It all evens out eventually.

Words can't explain how happy I am right now. =]

Even the best fall down, but you always have to pick yourself back up. There's always a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Embrace it. Never give up.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 23:33:30 GMT

Sometimes life hands you little surprises. Not everything in life is predictable, but where would the fun be in that?

Everything great has a beginning.

Does everything have to have an end?

Whether it lasts forever or for a short time you must learn to take in happiness and never look back. Don't regret. Just let life take you where you're supposed to go. There may be bumps along the way but that's life. The bumps help you appreciate the smoothness.

Not every question has an apparent answer; sometimes you have to work for it. In the end, it's all smiles.

Is there always a turning point?

Sometimes life hands you obstacles and the true definition of strength is not how you overcome them, but how you present yourself when they arrive. The definition of one's self is how well they are able to get back up.

True happiness doesn't always come the way you imagine, but it always comes in a perfect package. Whether you choose to see it or not is up to you.

August 26, 2005. A night to remember.<3

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 00:54:09 GMT

Dreams aren't what they used to be.

There are times when things are really easy, and yet others when life is really tough.

Then, there are neutral times where the bad things weigh even with the good ones. That's where I feel I am right now. Except things are starting to go up.

No more heartbreak.

No more drama.

Just... peace. Calm. Restful.

Dreams. Ambitions. They're starting to change. Are we supposed to know what we want to do in life at such a young age?

People ask me what I want to be. I used to know for sure, but not anymore. People ask me what my religion is, and I can't answer that either.

Am I supposed to know everything? Am I supposed to know what I want, what I believe in, and what I want to be?

Friday, August 12, 2005

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 22:16:54 GMT

Is there really such thing as "fate"?

They say life is what we make of it, but who are they?

People have limits to what they can and cannot do. Sometimes there just no way around the obvious truth... we're stuck in a hole and can't get out. Some of us are luckier than others, yet some are stuck in the dark.

On the outside some people may seem like they have the perfect life when they're really miserable.

Sometimes people look like they have a horrible life and are perfectly content.

Two extremes, yet completely the same. Lifestyles. Choices. Love. Family.

What is enough? When do we have "enough"?

Is there such a thing as true happiness? When and where can we find it?

I believe, with all of my heart, that true love is happiness. Being with that person, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, laughing at stupid jokes, gazing into eachother's eyes, falling asleep in eachother's arms. ad infinitum... That's perfect. That is the perfect life. Money doesn't matter... "Stuff" doesn't matter. All that matters is the feeling.

Will all of us find true love?

Or maybe true love is just an illusion.

Is true love fate? Are we meant to find the right person for us?

Are they supposed to come to us or are we supposed to search for them?

How do we know when we've found it?

I don't expect to find true love yet, but I do want to find someone who makes me happy. Makes me feel on top of the world. Someone who's as crazy in love with me as I am them.

Is that too much to ask for?

Maybe I don't want a relationship right now. I don't want to be tied down, but I also don't want to be alone. I hate these lonely Friday nights with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

Am I too selfish?

Or maybe I'm too afraid of being hurt again.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 21:31:41 GMT

How do you know when you can trust someone?

Is it the way they talk to you, or say "I love you" or just the feeling you get when you talk to them?

Is being afraid a signal?

Sometimes I wonder who I can really trust. I've been let down a lot, and I never seem to get back up. When it's time to let your guard down, will there be signals?

I'm beginning to trust someone, but I think of past experiences and it scares me. I want to trust him, and there's no fear. I think that's what scares me the most. Normally, I have fear. I have to get over that fear, but then I get hurt. Now, I don't feel that, and I'm not sure what to do.

How do you really know who will keep your secrets? When do you know that the person that you give your heart to will keep it safe?

I've never felt so willing to give my heart out, and right now I'm not sure if I should.

So many thoughts running through my head...
So many feelings running through my heart...

Which should I listen to?

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 15:50:16 GMT

Is honesty really the best policy?

Sometimes life brings us to weird places in life where we're not sure whether to "white lie" (which is still a lie nevertheless) or just be brutally honest even if it means causing our greatest love the greatest pain. This brings me to think... Should we really be honest with the ones we care about or sugar-coat our feelings just to make them feel better?

Is there such thing as "truth"? What we percieve as truth may just be something our heart tells our mind what's right. When is it time to start thinking with our head instead of our heart?

Sometimes being honest and telling that special someone how you feel is a great thing, but sometimes it's not. When is it not? Is it only not right when it's time to tell them our feelings that may hurt them?

Is hurting the person that you care most deeply about by sharing your feelings really worth it?

Sometimes people just sit back and wonder "why?"

Why do I feel this way?
Why do I hurt?
Why doesn't he/she realize what I'm feeling?
Why did he/she have to do this to me?
Why do I love him/her?

Answers don't come immediately, sometimes it takes time to think. How much time do we really have to think, though? Could one day change everything? Could a week change everything?

I think it can.

Being honest with the person you care about the most is most important in a relationship.

Then again, I've had so many, right?

I've kept to myself for the past year with my feelings. Exhibit A?

I'm beginning to be honest, and things are going the way I like. Exhibit B?

I believe that, when it comes to a healthy relationship (whether it be with a significant other or friends) honesty is, without a doubt, the best policy.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 05:17:52 GMT

What is it about love that makes us do such crazy things?

Mr. & Mrs. Right are out there somewhere, but where? When do we know when we've found the right one? Is it in the way they kiss, hold you, make you feel, or all of the above?

Is "perfect" too much to ask for?

"Accept people for who they are and not what you want them to be." That's the philosophy that I live by. If you love somebody, love them for who they are and don't try and change them.

Situations and feelings do change over time, but true love never fades. Is that how we should test love? Let time pass and see how we feel later on?

What happenes when feelings change for one person and not the other?

Is there really such a thing as soul mates?

There are billions of people in the world, and yet there is supposed to be that "one" out there for us? Maybe there are plenty of "ones" out there. We go through and pick the "one" out of the "ones" that we want. Some may happen to get lucky, but what about the ones that aren't so lucky?

Is the "one" really out there?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 05:22:08 GMT

Life is rough. There are so many unexpected events that happen that it's hard to keep track. Some of them are good, some of them... aren't.

How do we know which one is the better path?

There should be huge blinking signs saying "Do this" or "do that."

The true question is: Would we be too blinded by arrogance to pay attention to them? Are there already signs that tell us what to do and what to say but we just ignore them?

There are so many unanswered questions in the puzzle of life that it takes our entire lives to answer them. Is that what life is really about? Asking and answering our own questions?

I've found myself not being able to answer my own questions. I can help with answers for other people but when it comes to myself I draw a blank.

Life as I once knew it has ended.

What's next?